Sayings of Jesus: “Become Like Little Children”
At the start of Matthew 18, the disciples ask Jesus, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” Or as the other gospel writers would put it—Matthew is following the Jewish practice of not saying God’s name—"the kingdom of God.” We don’t know what led the disciples to ask, but presumably personal vested interest played a part. Certainly if the story of James and John asking to sit on either side of Jesus in his future kingdom is anything to go by (Mark 10, and the parallel account in Matthew 20, where their mother takes the lead), then “recognition” and “success” in the kingdom were of some interest to the disciples.
Jesus’ answer is both enigmatic and unexpected. Here’s the full passage:
He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”
Jesus’ answer is unexpected on several levels. Firstly, children had a very low status in the ancient world (Jesus even mentions their “lowly position”). To say that to the disciples, who clearly thought they were already great—or at least would be great, poised for pole positions in the future kingdom—was a bit of a put-down. “You could hardly be less great than a child,” they would have been thinking. As so often, Jesus shocks his audience with a memorable attention-grabber to make the point.
It reminds us of a Jesus story replying to a similar question, but using a different image: “Jesus called the Twelve and said, ‘Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all’” (Mark 9:35). I don’t think this was only an attention-grabber, not to be taken literally (as some of Jesus’ sayings were—see e.g., Mark 9:43-48). I think Jesus really meant it, not least because that is how Jesus himself lived and served. He also used that servant imagery on other occasions: see Mark 10:43, Matthew 20:26, and 23:11.
A small child and a servant were both pictures of insignificance in society at the time.
Back to the child analogy. What reasons might Jesus have had—and might he still have—to liken kingdom greatness for leaders to the characteristics we see in children? For sure he is being radical and it’s unexpected. Let’s look at what he says in more detail.
The first thing Jesus says is that they “need to change”—they need to “become like” little children. Their actions and attitudes are not reflecting that at the moment. The shock factor increases when he says that changing to become like little children is not just an optional extra to achieve greatness in the kingdom, it’s a pre-requisite for even entering the kingdom!
I wonder whether church leaders today think enough about this analogy. A common trope in our circles is “servant leadership,” but even that can become more like a spiritual-sounding humble idea than a day-to-day, week-to-week way of leading in practice. I’ve not yet seen any bestselling devotional books on “Five Easy Steps to Child-like Leadership.”
What things, in Jesus’ mind, might characterise the relationship of kingdom greatness and childlikeness? We need to compare features that are generally the case in little children—characteristics that are normally found—or at least, when children haven’t been taught otherwise, or observed and then copied their parents in doing otherwise. As we run through them, think about the extent to which they are kingdom greatness qualities—kingdom leadership qualities.
Children are not schemers. What you see is what you get. They don’t lie. They don’t have ulterior motives. They’re straightforward, transparent, and lacking in guile. They don’t work on the basis of ends justifying means.
Children are enthusiastic. They’re positive. They’re characterised by what they are for, and what they love. Their excitement for life is infectious. They don’t go through the motions without admitting it.
Children ask lots of questions. They love to learn. They don’t mind asking apparently “stupid” questions because they don’t see things that way. They just ask about whatever they want to know about. They haven’t grown out of asking questions in case the fact they don’t already know the answer might embarrass them.
Children are incredibly trusting. They have complete “faith” in their parent or carer figures. They’re trusting and reliant to the point of naiveté. They’re completely dependent, but that isn’t a weakness, it’s the way things are naturally supposed to be.
And then finally—though we could say more—children love their friends. They don’t see life as a win-lose competition (that for them to win, others have to lose, as acceptable collateral damage). They have no concept of pursuing “greatness” whatever the cost to others.
Now of course, what is sweet and endearing in a little child can (rightly) be seen as gullibility in an adult. As children grow older, their experiences in life can make them cynical and jaded towards these child-like values. As time goes on, we see the characteristics less and less. It is simply not possible to be all those things in those ways as an adult without being taken advantage of. But Jesus would have known all that when he used the child analogy. Jesus was not being naïve or pie-in-the-sky. He was not promoting gullibility, or saying “OK, then” to leaders who say “trust me” (how badly has that worked out in evangelical church leadership scandals in the recent past)?
The word “change” here (“unless you change and become like little children”) means “to turn.” To turn around—either away from or towards something else or someone else. Change our direction of travel in life. Change the values characterising what we’re doing and how we’re doing it. We need to turn towards the qualities that we see in a little child and away from attitudes and behaviours that are incompatible with that. To use the child as our yardstick.
Does Jesus have in mind a complete correspondence (copying everything on the list above and trying to be a little child—being childish Christians)? No, of course not. “Changing” means rebooting child-like values in our lives; rethinking what we think greatness in the kingdom looks like and how to achieve it, which involves renouncing the behaviours that people generally consider necessary to achieve earthly greatness. Put another way, if we have achieved (or clung onto) “kingdom greatness” in this life—position, power, honour, money, and recognition within our circle—through things we have done (or failed to do—same thing) that are incompatible with Jesus, then our very standing as part of his kingdom will actually be open to question. Jesus demands that we change because bad trees in the kingdom never lead to lasting good fruit in the kingdom.
That final phrase is enigmatic: “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” This is not the only occasion that Jesus directly corresponds how we treat others with how we treat him: “When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison and go to visit you?” The King will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:38-40. Notice that this is not simply metaphorical—“as if” we did it for him—he says it’s something we “did do” for him.
I’m not sure that it would be much of a stretch to say that, from Jesus’ perspective, “loving God” is a meaningless idea unless and to the extent that it is reflected in loving people. In the so-called “Great Commandment” (“love God and love people”) I’m pretty sure it’s the reason Jesus included the second part; remember that he was asked only for one commandment, not two. If we are not loving people, then by definition, in Jesus’ eyes, we are not loving him.
I would even go so far as to say on his behalf (if you can excuse the presumptuousness):
“Much as I appreciate you singing loving worship songs to me, and feeling love for me in your heart, that’s not what “loving God” is about. You’re loving me when you’re loving people. It’s not what you feel towards me, it’s what you do towards them. Actually, I’m not so bothered about people not loving me (I’m kind of used to it), but I am bothered about not loving people.”